August 9th will be one year since my cousin Ben's life slipped away.

I feel so alone and empty. I hate being attached to people...i hate being so emotional, irrational, passionate. I hate everything that is me. I always end up loving others more than they love me, I always end up getting hurt. People always end up leaving me. I'm cursed, jinxed.

Ugh, i hate losing my happy go lucky attitude. I must maintain it, fake it if i have to.

I need to think more with my mind, less with my heart. I need to just think less in general.

*Next morning comments*~

Ummm i think last night was crazy (all of the stuff i wrote above)! I think i was having one of those days, had some emotions to get out. But today, i'm really happy! I'm bounce back pretty quick. OK, what to do today? Somethingssss fun!!!!

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